Some folks have very low self-esteem and sometimes they feel it necessary to tear others down, even when they are asking someone for a favor. It’s ironic they can’t see that instead of helping their own situation, they’re only making it worse.

They don’t end up getting what they want and they end up looking like an ass or a bitch it the process.  It’s too bad for them, but we can learn from these poor people.  We see and know what kind of persons they are.  We then have a better understanding of them and how not to emulate them.  Because if the Insult Hustle isn’t working for them, it’s not going to work for us.  We wish them the best of luck.

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And if you don’t see a topic you really like, or you have another group of ideas entirely, leave a comment below.  We always read all of your comments to help serve you better.  This blog is to help you learn more and make more, let us know what you want.  Until next time!

Chandra & Josh

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In our first look at the idea of Zen Stripping, we discussed things you can do right now to focus on making more money at the club.  Today, we are going to talk about altering the way you view your past experiences and future expectations to help you always remain positive in the present. 

Your Past is a Wall

Being completely present in whatever it is you do can lead to great achievements, quality work, creativity, and success.  But the ability to focus entirely on a certain moment in time can be difficult, especially when memories of past short-comings, failures, and disappointments come to mind.  Our mind is constantly drawing up these memories to protect us from future let-downs.  However, this is one of the most limiting frames of mind you can let yourself fall into.

Thoughts of the past can be very detrimental to our self-esteem and present happiness.  Knowing that we are not getting any younger and remembering lost loved ones or opportunities can lead to sadness and ultimately an underlying stress in our everyday lives.  If you are constantly living in the past and are comparing to what you have right now, you will find it almost impossible to find happiness in the present.

Limiting yourself to what you have experienced in the past to what you are trying to accomplish today can lead you to a state of not being able to move forward.  In order to forge ahead, you have to dismiss past experiences, and believe that what you are trying to accomplish is totally within your grasp, despite past outcomes.  Once you believe it is possible, you then must go ahead and take action to make it happen.

When you fully believe something is possible, you begin to create an environment around you that enables you to meet your goals.  You begin to alter your own life situation so much that it becomes an inevitable outcome of what you are working towards.  You know that if you take these certain actions now, the goal is ultimately at hand.  That’s why it is so important to not let your past experiences hold you back from achieving what you want today.

This way of thinking forces you to take focus and action on what is crucial right now.  You begin the journey to what you want and only draw on your previous experiences for what will truly help you achieve what you desire.  Drawing on your strengths from past experience, you begin to build new strengths that help you maintain your drive and focus.  And knowing that others have been able to achieve what you so strongly desire, only gives you more confidence that you too can accomplish the same.  Don’t let the past hold you back because of past failures.  Use the past to draw on what works and what you have already done to forge even farther ahead.

Future Thoughts as Stress

Thoughts about the future hold mystery and the potential for much joy and happiness.  But when you want something so bad and think about how far away it is or that you don’t have what you want right now, you begin to feel despair at the realization that it isn’t possible at this moment.

Planning for the future is prudent and good for you when you understand what you must do right now to make those goals achievable for you.  But if you spend time working towards a goad and the end result doesn’t seem any closer, you can feel a great sense spinning your wheels and going no-where.  The important thing is to use goals as motivation to act now, not to become so strongly attached to them that you are miserable when they are not here right now.

Back in the Now

Talking about how you should perceive your past and future is really about how you view the present.  You can take your past and future views to draw strengths and motivation.  But viewing the past and future as compared to what you have right now is a sure way to be unhappy when you realize it isn’t “reality.”

Most of the time thoughts about the future and past lead to being distracted from what’s truly important right now.  Thinking about anything besides the present usually leads to an inability to really enjoy the moment and holds you back from succeeding at the job in front of you.

If you want to sell more dances at the club, you must be fully present when talking to that customer.  If you want an amazing stage presence, you can’t be thinking of past mis-steps or if you look bad in your costume.  You must focus entirely on delivering a great show and everything that you must be doing to pull it off.  Eliminate all thoughts that are not associated with what’s going on RIGHT NOW.

Putting it all Together

Focusing on the present and the experience it is providing you allows for you to grow as a human being.  Facing a difficult challenge is hard, but if you immediately think it’s not possible because of past experiences, you are dead in the water.  You will face challenges like this all of your life.  Being present in your life has the bonus of providing flexibility.  You have choices when something difficult comes your way.  You can run from it, ignore it, or embrace it and take parts of the experience away to build on other experiences from your past.  This is how you you achieve success and ultimately grow as a person.

Understanding that when you eliminate limiting beliefs from your past, stop attaching your happiness to things you want in the future but don’t have right now, and nurture your abilities and determination on what is important today, you are completely free.  You are free from the stress of past and future, and you have the chance to focus and really enjoy what you are doing right now in the present.

Josh & Chandra

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One with Now

During our time working, we often can get distracted by conversation, the music around us, by something that happened the other day, or maybe by a bill that is coming due shortly.  Whatever it is, we lose focus for a minute or maybe hours, and our productivity decreases.  This happens in all areas of life, not just at work.  But, have you ever had a time in your life where you just lose track of time, where everything else that is stressfull or on your mind just fades away?  When we have our best nights at work, that is what happens to us.  Everything just clicks, because we are completely present to what’s going on.  This may start to sound like some psycho babble, but stick with us a bit longer here.

Maybe you’ve tried multi-tasking chores around the house, or even at other jobs you’ve had in the past.  While it seems you are accomplishing many things in a short amount of time, you are not focused on any one particular thing.  This leads to distraction, and the quality of your work possibly (more likely probably) suffers.  You may miss small things or details, or completely forget to do a step in the process.  Giving your full attention to any activity or process tends to lead to successful completion of what you are doing.  Dancing isn’t any different.

When you step out of the dressing room, whether it is to go on stage or sell dances to a customer, distractions of what’s going on in your life or drama with somebody else can easily interfere with your work.  It’s happened to all of us many times.  Maybe you just had an arguement with a loved one or you have a sick child at home.  Those things are important to all of us, but while you are at work there isn’t much you can do about it.  Giving complete focus to what you are doing keeps you from missing an important step when dealing with a customer, or missing that step when you are getting off stage (and consequently tumbling off on your face in front of everyone).

When you are having a good night at your work, time seems to go quickly and you might wish there was more time left in the night to do more.  When you are having an amazing night at work, you completely forget time and don’t know it’s over until the lights come up.  You are one with your environment and it has your complete attention.  Giving your complete attention to the present includes eliminating thoughts about the past and the future, which is going to be a totally separate post in the very near future.  Eliminating those two aspects, can literally change your life, that’s why it’s important enough to garner it’s own topic space.

But, back to being one in the present, you might be asking yourself “How do I go about doing it?”  That’s an important question and we’re going to tell you how you can begin.  The first thing to do is eliminate all physical distractions.  Television, cell phones, computers, and even other people are great examples of physical distractions that you will need to get rid of to start the focusing process.

The next thing to do is stop mental distractions from happening.  Mental distractions are the times your mind wanders and jumps from thought to thought.  When you are trying to focus on a task at hand, these types of mental daydreams or distractions can be devastating to performance.  The key here is to have total awareness of the situation and realize what’s happening when you mind begins to wander.  However, once you begin to understand the times your mind is getting off course, then you will begin to truly focus on whatever task is at hand.

How does all this relate to dancing exactly?  Put away the cell phone.  Forget the drama with other dancers.  Truly focus on the conversation and sales process with each and every customer.  Listen to what they’re saying, not what’s on the television behind the bar.  You’ll find yourself selling a ton more dances in the process when you start doing these things on a regular basis.  Be present in the moment and what you desire will become more achievable.

Josh & Chandra

Present and Accounted for

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• Site revisions.  We’ve tweaked the site here at joshandchandra.com to be more visually appealing as well as more functional. 
• New Free Stripper Ebook in progress!  We’ve been working on a new Exotic Dancer E-book that we will be offering for free to our loyal readers.  It’s about half completed at this time, but will offer some tried and true methods how dancers can bank at work without having to break their back (or feet) every night at work!  We’re very excited about this one, so stay tuned.
• New articles coming shortly.  We’ve been really focusing inward lately, rather then focusing on only the external environment, and are going to share what we’ve found.  Be prepared to take your career to the next level after reading what we’ve discovered.

But otherwise we’ve been busy working on several other projects.  As they near completion, we will be back posting on a much more regular basis here at JoshAndChandra.com.  Here’ s to your continued success.

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LOS ANGELES – An exotic dancer was set on fire outside the club where she worked early Thursday, burning more than 60 percent of her body, police said. They were searching for two suspects.

A woman and a man called the 27-year-old dancer outside around 1 a.m. and then doused her with a flammable liquid next to the Babes & Beer sports club in the San Fernando Valley, police said. The dancer ran back inside and patrons came to her aid, police said.

Police identified the suspects as Rianne Celine Theriault-Odom, 27, and Nathaniel Marquis Petrillo, 22, both frequent patrons of the club. They were being sought for investigation of attempted murder, police said.

“Given the condition of this victim, they may be responsible for ultimately her murder,” Deputy Chief Michel Moore said. “This is a terrible, terrible attack.”

Moore said the dancer, a mother of two, was in grave condition after being burned over more than 60 percent of her body. Her identity was not immediately released.

A sign at the club indicated it was a sports bar. A message left at the club was not immediately returned.

What a horrible story.  We wish her and her family the best but with the extext of her injuries she may not make it.  Just a reminder, be safe at work.  People are crazy and you really shouldn’t trust anyone.

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It can be even worse when the girls you work with are dirty. I worked in a club for a year and a new girl showed up and told me at the end of the week that it had been her third time infected with chlamydia! She had waited a whole week working with us to say something. It was gross to think that any of the girls could have caught it by touching a pole after she touched herself or she went to the bathroom and didin’t wash her hands. You can also get a yeast infection from having an unclean pole touch your vagina. 

People are dirty.  All I’m saying is buy some hand sanitizer and coat yourself in it.  I do that every time I get off stage.  I work in a big club though. Forty girls a night on nine poles. All I’m saying is being is be weary, wash your hands, and SANITIZE!  It could keep you from catching something, spending money on treating it, and possibly even missing work if it’s really bad.  Until next time, stay clean!

Thanks!

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Remember the saying, “first impressions are everything?”  In the exotic dancing industry, this famous saying rings so true.  First impressions with potential clients are key.  They can make you or break you in this business.  This is why it is so important to ensure that when making an impression on a customer, you are leaving a good impression on him/her. 

Josh and Chandra elaborate more on making good impressions in a previous article.  I would like to give you some suggestions that may help you when making your first impression on a customer:

1.  Make-up: Just about every girl loves to dress up and wear make-up. What I love about dancing is I get to wear make-up that I would normally not wear outside of work.  I get to experiment with new colors and techniques.  It feels like I’m playing dress up from my childhood days all over again.

My make-up of choice is MAC.  MAC foundation and powder works great for stage performance.  The foundation isn’t heavy.  It goes on nice and light.  Studio Fix Foundation gives you great, full coverage when you are on the stage.  It doesn’t wash your complexion out making you look too pale when you’re on stage.  I highly recommend MAC make-up products!  All of the dancers at the club I work at wear it.  We even have a MAC make-up artist occasionally come to our club to do our make-up! (www.maccosmetics.com)

Two other make-up brand favorites of mine are L’Oreal HIP eye-shadow and Max Factor eye-shadow.  These two brands carry a variety of colorful and bold eye-shadows.  I usually find good coupons on these products in magazines or the newspaper. 

2.  Hair:  You know how sometimes you have those days where you don’t feel like doing your hair or you may be having a bad hair day?  Well, there are no such things as bad hair days in exotic dancing.  Your hair has to be done AT ALL TIMES.  You can’t just pull your hair up in a pony tail or in a little tasseled bun when you are an exotic dancer.  This makes you look sloppy and careless.  Customers expect you to look beautiful and polished at all times.  This means your image has to be almost perfect, including hair.

If you’re having a bad hair day or in a rush, I recommend wearing a hair piece or a wig.  You can find beautiful hair pieces or wigs at beauty supply stores for a very low price.  Whenever I am in a rush and I do not have time to spend an hour on my hair, I wear ponytails or buns.  Some dancers wear wigs when they dance to give them a more exotic look.  Wearing a hair extensions, ponytails, or wigs can also make your dancer persona stand out from the rest. 

3.  Costumes:  I love buying new costumes or outfits for work!  I try to set aside some money once a month to buy a new outfit.  Having sexy outfits is a must when you’re dancing. 

I don’t like to wear the usual bathing suit outfit.  I like to wear lingerie.  I wear one-piece lingerie outfits, corsets, lingerie mini dresses.   But this is my dancer style.  Every dancer has her own style, i.e. the famous school girl theme or wearing bikinis. 

Once you find your own unique style, invest in good wardrobe.  Don’t spend all your money on outfits.  Instead, put away $5 or $10 a week and then at the end of the month buy a new outfit.  You don’t want to go overboard on buying new costumes because that can definitely put a dent in your wallet.

4.  Shopping Stores:

Sally’s Beauty Stores

I have a Sally’s Beauty Card.  It only costs $5, and it’s good for an entire year.  Every time you use your Sally Beauty Club Card you get a percentage off your purchase. Trust me.  When you’re constantly buying accessories and other essentials for work, discounts come in handy!

Beauty Supply Stores

Beauty supply stores have various accessories, hair products, and make-up products at really low prices.  I like to stock up on eyelashes at beauty supply stores.  They also have hair extensions, ponytails, and wigs at really low prices.

Hustler Hollywood

Did you know that you can get a sweet discount on clothing at Hustler Hollywood stores?  In the city I dance at, if I show my dancing license I can get up to 30% off regularly priced items.  Even shoes!  The discount really helps me out a lot since I am constantly updating my wardrobe.

Local Dance Clothing Stores

Many cities have small business dance clothing stores.  You just gotta find them!    But the great part about buying your dancewear at a small business dance clothing store is you can ask for a discount on merchandise. 

If the manager or owner knows that you are a dancer, he/she will definitely be willing to give you a good deal on merchandise.  Why?  Simply put he/she wants your continued business, and they know you’re going to go back and tell the other dancers you work with about the great deal you got on a really hot outfit.  There is a dance clothing store in the city I live and every time I shop at the store the manager gives me up to 50% on clothing and shoes. 

Once last pointer…remember to ALWAYS SAVE YOUR RECEIPTS!  Even when you get your hair and nails done, ask for a receipt.  You can claim all of your beauty expenses on your taxes.  I keep my receipts in a box. 

Now,  you have a great excuse to buy make-up and get your hair and nails done!  =)

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Also, we have resolved some of the display issues of the blog for some of our readers using older browsers and lower resolutions.  If you weren’t previously seeing some pages correctly those issues should now be resolved. 

Things are slowly getting back to normal and we will be back to posting regularly very soon.  In the mean time, please take care.

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1.  Get in Shape.  This is a common one for many folks around the new year.  And there isn’t anything wrong with that.  Especially in the business of Exotic Dancing, since a trimmer waistline can equate to a higher income.  Whether you decide to start hitting the gym, or starting eating less junk food, a commitment to living healthier is a win-win situation no matter how you look at it.

2.  Read More.  While this sounds boring and maybe even a waste of time, what you read can actually improve how much you make every night at work.  Learning new sales techniques or how to be a better saleswoman can greatly boost your income, and help you with the third recommendation below.

3.  Start Paying off Debts.  With the economy in the toilet right now, and customers in the club spending less, there are ways to improve your financial situation RIGHT NOW!  They include paying off high interest credit card debts and putting the rest away in a savings account or investing it.  One way that paying off credit card debts actually gives you more spending money is that once it is paid off, you no longer have monthly payments that you have to budget for.  If you’re paying $400 a month in payments to your credit card company, you might be working one or two nights a month just to pay for your credit card bill.  When you no longer have any credit card payments, you immediately have that $400 to do with as you please, every single month after your card is paid off.  We understand that you may have more credit card debt then the example above, but paying more then the minimum amount due every month brings you much closer to the day that you are debt free, and also will lower your minimum monthly payment.

4.  Start Saving More.  After you’ve paid off high interest debts, or while you doing so, you should set aside an amount that you will set aside and either put into a savings account or an investment account.  You don’t have to save or invest thousands of dollars a month to get started.  Putting aside $10 or $20 a night, or $50 a week, and putting it into some type of saving or investing account where it is not easily accessible or spent when you have the urge to buy those new $300 pair of boots and gives you a chance to start building something that can be put to work FOR YOU! 

5.  Buy Something Big.  Now this sounds like it goes against the last two resolutions we just mentioned, but becoming a financial hermit isn’t fun and what’s the use of saving if you don’t ever seem to get anything from it?  With this resolution, think of something you’ve really wanted for awhile but haven’t been able to afford.  Now, with the price of that item in mind, think of what you could set aside every week or month to actually buy that item say 6 or 9 months from now.  If it’s a big flat screen t.v., you might need to put away $50 a week for six months.  But, with the prices of many electronic items falling, you might be able to buy the one you want much sooner or even a better or bigger model then the one you’ve been eyeballing for awhile.  The main thing is, plan for the purchase and pay for it in cash.  Don’t finance it.  And after you’ve gotten what you’ve wanted for so long, you’ll feel a sense of accomplishment and achievement that you’re hard work and savings has paid off.  It’s a great incentive to do more of the same in the future.

If you’ve already made new year resolutions, great.  But if you haven’t, it’s still not too late to get started on a couple or even all of the one’s mentioned here if you are having a hard time coming up with some of your own

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